October 16, 2006

like one who needs milk

I'm really resonating with the letter to the Hebrews today - but not the way the author intended, I'm sure. Diving into the readings for Proper 25b I'm really left feeling lost. This spiritual discipline is intended to create a life lived in the word, so that it exists so deeply within me that the word and my life cannot be torn apart. But today, today I feel like I can't find a place for these readings. Blindness and sin and evil and death pervade these texts so profoundly I can't seem to get past my own blindness.

And so, today I feel like those poor Christians to whom the letter to the Hebrews was written. By this time I ought to be a teacher, hell I'm in my third year of seminary, but today I need someone to teach me again the basic elements of the oracles of God. When I should be eating the solid food of Proper 25b, I am left nursing the milk set aside for the unskilled.

But maybe that's ok. Maybe we all have those days where we're just too tired or too stressed or too whatever to have the scales of humanity removed from our eyes. Maybe today I am called to take confidence in my salvation and trust that tomorrow (or some other day in the future) I will have my sight restored. "For God is not unust; he will not overlook your work..." So I keep at it. I'll try again tomorrow hoping to realize the full assurance of God's gift of sight.

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