It is 3:13 on Thursday afternoon and I still have eight sermons bouncing around in my skull. I'm not so much worried about tomorrow, I'm certain this Friday will have enough worries of its own. I'm not even worried about Saturday evening's five15 because the conversation format means I don't have to have one direction nailed down when the service starts. I am worried about Sunday because that's what I do. Every weekend that I preach I worry about Sunday until it is over and then I say, "Why was I so worried? The Holy Spirit carried me through again, just like every other time."
Not that I ever dare step into the pulpit unprepared. I'm always prepared. Which, I suppose is part of the problem. I read so much, think so much, listen so much that by the time I put finger to keyboard I've got at least eight different directions bouncing around my skull.
I'm probably more worried this week because, come Sunday, I have to tell people why they shouldn't worry. Kind of hard to preach "do as I say and not as I do", but then again, I've done that before too (think - keep the sabbath, love your enemies, be thankful in all things).
The stupid Collect for Sunday isn't helping either. We pray to be preserved from FAITHLESS fears, and WORLDLY anxieties. We announce to God that his will for us is to give thanks for ALL things, to fear NOTHING but the loss of him, and to cast all of our cares upon him who cares for us. Yikes.
So, now it is 3:20 on Thursday and I'm still worried. Worried not that I won't have anything to say come Sunday, I will, I always do. Worried instead that I'll be typing those words at 11pm on Saturday night. Worried that what I do say will be vapid or, worse yet, trite (stupid Bobby McFerin stuck in my head).
Preacher friends, are you worried? Non-preacher friends, do you pray for your preachers that they might be relieved of writer's block and pulpit anxiety? If you don't, if you wouldn't mind starting now, it would be greatly appreciated.