August 3, 2007

a psalm that is hard to keep

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall ever be in my mouth."

What an interesting text to use at an ordination service. It is clear that this is appropriate for the feast of most of our saints, Claire certainly among them. But it seems to me there is a reason why we have a rather short roster of saints in the Episcopal Church. Most of us aren't capable of making such a bold claim. Even saints like Phillips Brooks weren't able to live up to such a bold statement (that man could complain). Anyway, I was struck this morning by this psalm.

I'm not really at a point of complaining about my ministry or about God right now, but I have to think, at some point over the next who-knows-how-many years I will have something to complain about. I won't live up to the expectation that Scott is setting up for himself by having this Psalm at his his ordination service. Granted, I'd love to be able to bless the LORD at all times, but I know that there are times when life sucks. There are times, even in my own past, when the only way to communicate with God is by yelling and screaming. There are times when God's will is so opposite your own that you will be pissed off at God.

So what to do with this Psalm? I can't just throw it out. I can't not use it. I have to strive for it. Trusting in the LORD means that when his will and mine don't match, I don't get angry, but I surrender mine for his. Jesus himself had to lay down his will so that the will of the Father, a will that meant an agonizing death and separation from God that brought about salvation for countless numbers, might be accomplished. So I guess I use this Psalm as my touchstone. Coming back to it in times of struggle to remind myself to "taste and see that the LORD is good." Otherwise, I could easily get caught up in my own desires, losing all perspective, and being angry more often than not.

""I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall ever be in my mouth."

1 comment:

Laura said...

I feel a bit like a broken record with this comment, but

PREACH IT PANKEY! I love coming here for a good word from you and from God.