August 18, 2010

30 is tough

The lesson from Jeremiah has my blood pressure up, and not in a good way. It is all about me and my unhealthy expectations and that lingering desire to crush fingers on the corporate ladder.

Judeo-Christian history is filled with men and women who have found their way to high ranking positions at a young age. David, Samuel, Jeremiah, and Timothy to name some Biblical characters. William Wilberforce, Jonathan Myrick Daniels, and Sean Rowe to name some others.

For me, turning thirty was hard not because I was another year older, but because I felt like I hadn't accomplished a whole lot. Didn't have much to hang my hat on. Hadn't broken any fingers as of yet.

These are all terrible reasons to feel sorry for oneself, and are, quite frankly, not of God. I know this, and everyday, by grace, it gets a little easier to not listen to the voices of pride and competition that shout so loudly in my head.

I try then to take comfort in the words of God to Jeremiah, "Do not say, 'I am only a boy'; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you..." I know that God has called me here and has spoken his word through me, and for that I am humbled and forever grateful. I know that God has dreams for St. Paul's that TKT and I can't even imagine. I know that I make excuses, "I'm only 30" or in my case "I'm already 30, that's 1/3 dead!" But God reminds Jeremiah and in turn reminds me that his plans are bigger than our fears and our pride. His goals are longterm and perfect. He doesn't call the equipped, the equips the called.

30 is tough for me because of my sin, but 30 is hopeful for me because of the strength of my God.


ChrisK said...

1/3 dead? LOL I can't get over that. I don't know what that makes me, and I have desire to do the math.

Great post, though. I enjoyed reading it and can related in many ways.

Simon said...

I struggle with this, a lot. Thirty was hard for me.

I used to joke that when I was in my twenties I was too young to be a Christian leader, and now I'm in my thirties I'm too old. I do feel past it.

But I've come to realise that a lot of this is tied up with my pride and my need to achieve. Being in the will of God ought to be enough, at whatever age.

It ought to be - but I know that it's a struggle.